Who needs juggling when you're not in the circus?

I have returned... unscathed dear readers! My meeting with X went quite differently to how I had expected, but that is probably a good thing considering how tragically my mental worst case scenario ended. I apologise for having vanished for two weeks without posting, it turns out that managing a social life and productive blog with load shedding (international readers, this is the concept of scheduled power outages due to strain the on the power grid of South Africa) is surprisingly frustrating.

Speaking of frustrations, today I have been pondering on the idea of balancing. Balancing here meaning the careful juggling (and logic-defying) act of trying to do everything at once. A close contact of mine who specialises in untangling the thoughts of the human mind has reminded me that human beings are not particularly built mentally to deal with multitasking. We are built to complete one task at a time, yet society tells us that "all-rounders" are the successful ones. The epiphany that most of us experience at one point or another is that trying to balance everything perfectly at once is damn near impossible to achieve.

I have this particular flop at balancing between my time at University and when I'm on holiday. When I'm at University I am the most productive I can ever be, and I stay that way until there is no more official work to be done. The productivity feels relatively effortless... until it becomes holiday time. Now with no more deadlines, my productivity immediately flounders like a fish caught out of water. With all the time on my hands, running between my fingers, I do all the things I don't have the time for in varsity. Examples would be savouring a cup of hot tea instead of gulping it down, reading the newspaper for more than the quick headlines, READING BOOKS, going hunting in second hand book stores... and I think most importantly, spending quality time with other people.

I've been so isolated by my work this year that I've truly forgotten what it feels like just to enjoy other peoples company. But I think that also has a great deal to do with the new friends I've made this year. Some of them I feel like I've known for many years as opposed to just under one year. I enjoy being with them, so much so that I actually have a social life that makes every outing worthwhile. So I ended up having another epiphany: sometimes dedicating all your balance to one area of your life isn't such a bad thing. If productivity is maintained the rest of the year, then I see no reason why it cannot take a backseat when you get to spend quality time with the people you care about.

So yes, I haven't been making much in the way of art, but I have been making memories that I doubt I'll forget anytime soon. Sometimes you have to make time for memories, your work will still be there when you get back.

Until we meet again
Talia

What Happens to an Artist in Unnatural Habitats

The Artist's Definition of Immaturity: Refusing to see reason and deciding on the most inexplicably stupid course of action in order to get a sense of self-satisfaction.

Now the difference with the societal definition of immaturity is that it usually has something to do with age. I've realised, with plenty of mishaps I might add, that immaturity has little to do with age, but rather a lot to do with who you are as a person and how willing you are to deal with reality.

Now age for me is a funny thing, I've been told that I'm wiser than my years, that I look and act a great deal older than what I am... But the truth is that sometimes I make such idiotic decisions that I have to wonder how mature I really am. Thankfully these idiotic moments have always related to dealing with people rather than life decisions.

Now, in the last few months, by choice or by habit, I've chosen to ignore a certain individual who doesn't seem to find me all that charming. And to be honest I cannot blame that individual who shall not be named. For the sake of easy reading however, let's call this individual X.

Well X doesn't think too highly of me from what I can tell, Not that I've actually spoken to X. That's where immaturity comes in. Why haven't I spoken to X? Because X didn't "make the effort to speak to me first". Back when this thought popped into my brain it felt so deliciously satisfying not to speak back, even though I was given a variety of opportunities to do so. Now about a month later, these acts of immaturity are about to catch up with me.

I will most likely be meeting X in person some time this week, and now I don't have my artwork to hide behind. See what happens when you strip an artist away from their work? They have no idea how to act properly! I moaned and groaned about this situation, but I didn't do anything constructive about it... Now I have to deal with something that could have been put to rest long ago.

Well, I have grown up in a lot of ways in the last few years, but tomorrow will be the ultimate test of whether I'm mature enough to handle life without any art to hide behind. Now I have to learn to be the bigger person and grow up a little. Hopefully I'll return unscathed to the next post.

Until we meet again
Talia

A Flood Amongst a Drought

Words... Words are strange little creatures aren't they? Strung together in the right order, they can bring understanding to a cloud of confusion...All they're made of is letters and dots and dashes in a particular order but they can say so much more than we intend, but sometimes never being able to voice the very essence of a soul.

I think I've had a love of words and letters since I've learnt how to write. I remember in feathered wisps my first attempts at recreating letters I read in a book, trying to capture the grace and elegance of each letter, attempting to transfer the sound of the letter in the stroke of a pencil. For me, I had a wonder in learning how to write, a sense of wonder which I can feel slipping away from the fresh-faced new generations.

Those who have seen my handwriting now will know it is something much more than the materialisation of thought into something more tangible. It's a form of therapy, helping to keep my mind at ease whilst simultaneously etching my memories into paper. In case you're wondering, this was not always the way I regarded handwriting, it's more of a development this year. I guess keeping pages of journals inspired an epiphany: that I have an insatiable thirst for words and text. Writing is just one manner of satisfying the thirst, but the only problem with writing is that it's such a solitary act.

I'm sure that each and every person has that thirst for communication, whether it is through words, voices or writing. I managed to find someone who can send me the river of words, who cured the drought of solitary writing. I find myself feeling a tad greedy, wanting to hear and drink more words than I deserve. But the truth is, I find myself returning and sharing the words with such ease that I no longer feel parched. I wish sometimes that I could etch each and every word spoken into journals, but the truth is that there are too many words to remember them all.

That's why the words spoken have to count. They have to be sincere, Pure. Honest. So dear readers, make all your words count, you never know whose drought you might be able to end.

Until we meet again
Talia

Sink or Swim

nostalgia [no stáljə, no stálji ə]

noun

1.	sentimental recollection: a mixed feeling of happiness, sadness, and longing when recalling a person, place, or event from the past, or the past in general
2.	things that arouse nostalgia: something, or things, intended to arouse a feeling of nostalgia or to evoke the past in a way that arouses nostalgia
	Nostalgia is a quite the unusual emotion. It can be forgotten in a heartbeat but can be recalled at the faintest reminder of a person or place. I've been swimming in a sea of nostalgia for the last few days, and to be honest I had almost forgotten how to swim among the waves of memories. It takes a lot of mental endurance to go through the memories again as an observer rather than a participant. It's a bit like Life of Pi, you're in a boat with several other characters, all of whom have been a part of your story, but you choose how to remember each one, or whether to remember them at all. At the same time, recalling incidents and memories long since forgotten can remind you how far you've made it since then, not to mention how much you can change in what seems like such a short space of time. Suffice to say, I remembered how to swim, and the truth is that it's been one of the most refreshing experiences I've had in a long time. I had gotten into the bad habit of blocking out the past, but the truth is that you can't force yourself away from the memories. They're a part of your story. And the sooner you embrace that, the sooner the waves of memories stop threatening to pull you under. The memories start to support you, allowing you to breathe again.  I've felt that having a good memory can be a bit of a catch-22. But having a good memory means you're never at a shortage for interesting stories, all you need is that trigger for the waves of memories. So after a long, philosophical swim, I have come to a surprising conclusion... Dear Readers in South Africa and all over the world, make the effort to stay in touch with someone you had forgotten. It doesn't matter how many days, weeks, months or even years it has been. Keep that connection, I can tell you the old memories made as well as the new memories yet to come will be worth the long swim in the ocean of nostalgia. Until we meet again Talia

Going Once...Going Twice...Sold!

This is the first painting I sold in my career as an artist. This was a painting I completed for my matric  (or senior year in high school for those abroad) art exam last year, whose theme was "TIME". As you can see, sometimes art doesn't have to be so serious (commence lecturer fetching pistol), and a little bit of fun can go a long way.

If you're wondering, the person who bought this work definitely had a sense of humour. But to be honest, I was quite surprised that out of the collection of work I brought with me to the Rosebank Art Fair, this was the one to sell first. The Rosebank Art Fair was my first attempt at selling my work, and I actually did manage to sell three works! Now I will share my experience and some of my first impressions of participating in an art fair.

1. Getting to talk to other artists is invaluable experience. Especially if you're new to the game and have no idea what to do!
2. You only really appreciate the value of your own work when you see it in relation to what is already out there
3. People really like paintings of cows.
4. People fall in love with smaller work because: A) it's small B) It's (occasionally) more affordable and C) It doesn't take up so much wall space
5. Trestle walls make for a cost-effective display solution
6. DO NOT EVER EXHIBIT YOUR WORK IN A WINDY SPACE!
7. Different is appreciated in the art world, but you have to exhibit your work in a place where people will appreciate your work for being unique.
8. The parking situation at Rosebank Mall is truly horrendous, who knew you could potentially get hit by a car in a parking lot?!
9. Business cards are a necessity
10. It's a lot more fun (and less terrifying) going to an art fair with another artist than it is going by yourself!

 Although the market was fun, I think the audience wasn't the greatest for the kind of work our stall had. But this is just a stepping stone to the next audience and I know that experience will help find the recipe for success as an artist. The journey of 1000 miles after all begins with a single step.

Until we meet again
Talia

100 Days of Summer

My first year of studying is almost over. In the space of a week, I've come to realise the value of keeping your momentum going, no matter how much you feel like you deserve a break. Although all of my deadlines (save for one last exam) had officially passed on Friday, the worst possible thing I could do now is stop creating art. It sounds bizarre, not wanting to stop the artistic process and crazy methods of working.

Momentum is a hard thing to keep going.When it finally starts rolling, you start working better than you have before, you push yourself further than you thought you could...but when you finally hit that deadline and finish the work, you suddenly get this baffling sensation that there is nothing more to do. You feel lost. You want to do something but at the same time you want to enjoy the relief of that deadline being over. It's the twilight zone for artists, and just people in general.

But the truth is, the twilight zone is constructed by ideas that work cannot be enjoyable. As an artist, your work can stress you out, but if you really enjoy it, then it stops feeling so much like...well, work. It starts to feel like a calling, a compulsion to create, even when those deadlines have passed. So I have decided that for the duration of my summer break (which is over 100 days), I will continue doing constructive work. Last week, after my last post I started working on a list of 100 things to do over Summer (read one thing per day typically).

So here is my list, I'm struggling to fill up the last few places, so if you have any ideas please comment below.

100 Days of Summer

1. Write one blog post every week
2. Spend an entire day making origami cranes
3. Do daily writing everyday
4. Finish my monopoly painting
5. Finish my Venus Painting
6. Organise Cupboards
7. Start AND finish an artwork in one day
8. Take photos of all my art and put it on my pages
9. Give away old clothes to charity (Empty Hanger in Sandton?)
10. Declutter
11. Make at least one Santa Shoebox for Christmas
12. Write letters to People who I should have written to long ago
13. Make the First Year Survival Guide
14. Update Facebook and DeviantArt accounts once a week
15. Find a Penpal
16. Cut all of my old high school notes into squares (See #2)
17. Make another book by hand
18. Go stationery shopping
19. Wear a different outfit every single day (No cheating and wearing the exact same thing twice)
20. Go book shopping
21. Design my own logo
22. Design my own Calendar
23. Get 100 likes on my Facebook Artist page
24. Archive all the work I have done this year
25. Take part in Illustration Friday every week
26. Organise Art Supplies (COMPLETED)
27. Use old scraps of paper and make cards
28. Write a short story
29. Write a Poem
30. Enter the World Citizen's Art Competition
31. Make business cards
32. Collaborate with Josh
33. Collaborate with Natasha
34. Go driving a few times a week
35. Sign up for the Rosebank Market
36. Do a large-scale Typography Drawing
37. Get more lino
38. Learn to cook and bake
39. Make a drawing for someone else
40. Find a new genre of music to listen to
41. Customise my car and put things inside that are useful
42. Enter an art competition
43. Make an artwork using non-traditional mediums
44. Do Hibiscus Painting for mom
45. Do one Oil Painting
46. Make Colour Swatch notebooks
47. Learn how to make my own paper
48. Get back in shape, do at least ten minutes of exercise a day
49. Learn to master a different medium
50. Figure out how to sculpt using texture paste
51. Make more colour mixing squares
52. Get a good anatomy textbook
53. Do an artwork from life
54. Attempt a blind painting
55. Go an entire day without wearing glasses and then write about it
56. Try being a vegetarian for 3 days
57. Try and actually drink 8 glasses of water in one day
58. Make one public work of art
59. Learn how to write with my left hand
60. Learn how to draw with my left hand
61. Actually make a drawing using only my left hand
62. Figure out my own unique makeup look (COMPLETED)
63. Make a comic strip
64. Experiment with Henna Tattoos
65. Have an awesome manicure every week
66. File all the loose paper lying around my room
67. Make a digital portfolio
68. Organise a group for first year orientation
69. Read at least 10 books
70. Go art supply shopping
71. Make a time lapse video of making an artwork
72. Start writing tutorials on how to make stuff
73. Do recipe organisation for mom
74. Start figuring out how to feng-shui the flat
75. Start building something out of cranes
76. Finish Post-it Project
77. Throw one party at home
78. Create a real website
79. Reorganise books
80. Figure out new ways to wear my long hair up
81. Finish this list
82. Figure out what my alter ego artist would be like
83. Do a good deed for someone else

...And that is as far as I've gotten. I'm struggling with these last few ones, so I'm open to suggestions.

Until we meet again

Talia

Plunging into the World of Artistic Risks

To all of those wonderful people around the world who read my blog, I really do thank you for taking the time! I know it's been well over a month since I've posted and for that I do apologise. I promise from here on out (cross my paintbrushes) that I will be posting at least once a week every week.

Although it has only been a few weeks since my first post, it feels as though a lot has changed since that day. A lot has changed this year actually, more than I could ever have predicted a year ago. But whilst change can be painful and disrupt our cosy routines, change can also bring out the best in us. That has what I've come to realise over the last few months. Yes, change hurts. A lot. But when you realise that perhaps, just maybe that the act of letting go frees you from self-doubt, then change suddenly has an incredibly different perspective.

I can assure you now that self-pity is not the way to deal with change, it just makes you feel worse.. The only way to really deal with change is to find yourself, find your passion and do what makes your soul come alive. For me, that transformation came through by throwing myself into my art. I've always loved art, since my earliest childhood memories. I have heard stories about people who describe making art as their 'salvation', but I've never understood that, until now.

When I got back to varsity at the beginning of the term, I could feel that melancholic weight still on my shoulders, a familiar feeling from many years ago. I didn't know how to get rid of it. I had tried ignoring it, banishing it to the back of my mind, but that never helped, it only seemed to amplify it. When our Fine Arts class started printmaking using monotypes, in the first week I couldn't seem to make a decent print, only serving to increase my unease. Had my luck as an artist run out, already?

On September 24th 2014, or Heritage Day in South Africa, I decided to head back the printmaking studio at the university to at least attempt another decent print. I was feeling incredibly defeated, for the first time in my life as an artist. I was almost sure I wouldn't be able to make another print. I decided to try an alternative technique which I improvised on the day using masking tape as a template. I had no idea whether it would work, I just knew that it couldn't get any worse than what I had tried before. When I started inking up the plate and the lines at the back of the plate disappeared, I felt a spark. The spark that every artist feels when they realise that they might be onto something.

I was so reluctant to work into the plate after seeing the ink on the masking tape, my gut instinct was saying to print it as it is. I was still reluctant because I had never heard of anyone doing what I was about to . I also had a certain individual (who prefers not to be named) telling me to go ahead and do what felt right. I took the risk and placed my plate onto the printing press. After I rolled it through the press, it was the moment of truth.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I peeled the print from press. I found it, my method, my own way of working! I found the spark of inspiration I'd been needing for so long! I had that moment, that feeling of euphoria almost every artist knows when they've found their way.

Ever since that day, I've been making better art than I knew I was capable of, better than I thought I could ever achieve. Since that day I've been throwing myself into the process more than I have ever done before, I've been throwing myself into my art like I won't be around tomorrow. And do you know what? I've never felt better! I've had to drag myself away from anything art related so that I could get my assignments and studying done. Thanks to printmaking, and a friend who will probably never realise how much they helped me by telling me to just go for it, I have a feeling that this is just the beginning of my life as an artist.

Until we meet again
Talia

Take Back Tomorrow

To You my Curious Reader, I Bequeath my Wandering Artistic Mind 

Well, this is mildly intimidating. As you can see, I am a novice blogger, fresh to the world of writing an online journal. I've been putting off starting this blog for a few days now, because...well I was scared. I couldn't understand why I would be afraid: I had a new book all about the ways of blogging for creative people; I had encouragement; and I had a plethora of thoughts swirling through my mind...

So what is it about blogging that kept me from starting years ago? Well, a better-than-average command of the English language was still being worked on in high school and probably a lack of self-confidence was my biggest drawback. So blogging never started for me but it was in the back of my mind, nagging at me to share my thoughts to more than those who happened to go to the same school.

Until today, today I decided that procrastination was not aiding me on this beautiful day. How hard can it be to start a blog when you have your very own guidebook? The answer, not difficult at all. Like the Goldfish song "Take Back Tomorrow", I will start my blog today, with all the ambition compensating for a lack of experience. 

For now, I can't really say how often I will post or what the content will be for every post...But I can tell you that I will take you on the artistic journey that I have begun. I will try my best to share my process and thoughts as a young artist in the making, maybe have some profound epiphanies along the way.

I sincerely thank you if you have taken the time to read this little post, I apologise for any incoherence or ramblings. I promise I'll get better with some practice and patience. This is all for now, I'll be back as soon as I have a train of thought that hasn't derailed along the line.

Until we meet again

Talia