Who needs juggling when you're not in the circus?

I have returned... unscathed dear readers! My meeting with X went quite differently to how I had expected, but that is probably a good thing considering how tragically my mental worst case scenario ended. I apologise for having vanished for two weeks without posting, it turns out that managing a social life and productive blog with load shedding (international readers, this is the concept of scheduled power outages due to strain the on the power grid of South Africa) is surprisingly frustrating.

Speaking of frustrations, today I have been pondering on the idea of balancing. Balancing here meaning the careful juggling (and logic-defying) act of trying to do everything at once. A close contact of mine who specialises in untangling the thoughts of the human mind has reminded me that human beings are not particularly built mentally to deal with multitasking. We are built to complete one task at a time, yet society tells us that "all-rounders" are the successful ones. The epiphany that most of us experience at one point or another is that trying to balance everything perfectly at once is damn near impossible to achieve.

I have this particular flop at balancing between my time at University and when I'm on holiday. When I'm at University I am the most productive I can ever be, and I stay that way until there is no more official work to be done. The productivity feels relatively effortless... until it becomes holiday time. Now with no more deadlines, my productivity immediately flounders like a fish caught out of water. With all the time on my hands, running between my fingers, I do all the things I don't have the time for in varsity. Examples would be savouring a cup of hot tea instead of gulping it down, reading the newspaper for more than the quick headlines, READING BOOKS, going hunting in second hand book stores... and I think most importantly, spending quality time with other people.

I've been so isolated by my work this year that I've truly forgotten what it feels like just to enjoy other peoples company. But I think that also has a great deal to do with the new friends I've made this year. Some of them I feel like I've known for many years as opposed to just under one year. I enjoy being with them, so much so that I actually have a social life that makes every outing worthwhile. So I ended up having another epiphany: sometimes dedicating all your balance to one area of your life isn't such a bad thing. If productivity is maintained the rest of the year, then I see no reason why it cannot take a backseat when you get to spend quality time with the people you care about.

So yes, I haven't been making much in the way of art, but I have been making memories that I doubt I'll forget anytime soon. Sometimes you have to make time for memories, your work will still be there when you get back.

Until we meet again
Talia

What Happens to an Artist in Unnatural Habitats

The Artist's Definition of Immaturity: Refusing to see reason and deciding on the most inexplicably stupid course of action in order to get a sense of self-satisfaction.

Now the difference with the societal definition of immaturity is that it usually has something to do with age. I've realised, with plenty of mishaps I might add, that immaturity has little to do with age, but rather a lot to do with who you are as a person and how willing you are to deal with reality.

Now age for me is a funny thing, I've been told that I'm wiser than my years, that I look and act a great deal older than what I am... But the truth is that sometimes I make such idiotic decisions that I have to wonder how mature I really am. Thankfully these idiotic moments have always related to dealing with people rather than life decisions.

Now, in the last few months, by choice or by habit, I've chosen to ignore a certain individual who doesn't seem to find me all that charming. And to be honest I cannot blame that individual who shall not be named. For the sake of easy reading however, let's call this individual X.

Well X doesn't think too highly of me from what I can tell, Not that I've actually spoken to X. That's where immaturity comes in. Why haven't I spoken to X? Because X didn't "make the effort to speak to me first". Back when this thought popped into my brain it felt so deliciously satisfying not to speak back, even though I was given a variety of opportunities to do so. Now about a month later, these acts of immaturity are about to catch up with me.

I will most likely be meeting X in person some time this week, and now I don't have my artwork to hide behind. See what happens when you strip an artist away from their work? They have no idea how to act properly! I moaned and groaned about this situation, but I didn't do anything constructive about it... Now I have to deal with something that could have been put to rest long ago.

Well, I have grown up in a lot of ways in the last few years, but tomorrow will be the ultimate test of whether I'm mature enough to handle life without any art to hide behind. Now I have to learn to be the bigger person and grow up a little. Hopefully I'll return unscathed to the next post.

Until we meet again
Talia