Get Up Again

Hi there again dear readers. I know, I went from a massive break from blog posts to a sudden flow of things to write about. I guess I've just had a ton on my mind lately, and I feel like talking about it with you, dear readers, is a good way to convey my thoughts and feel like someone out there is just listening to what I have to say. 

So dear readers, something I've had on my mind lately is the idea of strength and self-empowerment. To me, I've always had a deep rooted fear of appearing weak to other people. I hate crying, being sick, being injured, being too emotional. Anything that knocks me off my A-game. To be honest, it doesn't take much to knock someone off their A-game. It can be feeling under the weather. feeling over-worked, upset about relationship or personal problems, or just having a bad day. I have been off my A-game more often than not recently. For me, it's been because of relationship and personal problems. I've been so emotional in the last few months I think I've had my share of negative emotions for a lifetime. 

The problem with emotional turmoil is that I've developed the bad habit of moping over a negative situation. I can think of a lot of reasons why this has changed, but the biggest reason why it bugs me is that I feel excruciatingly weak. 

As said before, it is the one thing I am most afraid of.

So as of today, I am done with this crappy feeling of being weak. Yeah sure, things get crappy in life. We all make bad decisions and sometimes it feels like the light at the end of the tunnel is just an illusion, 

Life is hard, 

We get knocked down.

We get winded.

We bleed.

We must get up again. 

I am so sick and tired of waking up and feeling like getting through another day is going to be tough on me. I am 20 for God's sake, I should be changing the world every day, not sitting and moping about things that WILL NOT matter in the grand scheme of things. Here is where the importance of self-empowerment comes in. See dear readers, this is something I have realised over the last few years. 

No one else will make your dreams come true for you. 

No one else will fight harder for you than yourself. 

No one else will ever be able to understand your life better than you,

Stop relying on other people to make things happen for you, they have their own lives to worry about. So at the start of every day, you are the one in charge of how it goes and how it ends. I won't lie, I've had a bit of a crappy day, and I have no one else to blame but myself (much as I would like to shift the blame I know I would be kidding myself), but here and now, typing this blog post - and listening to Pump It! by the Black Eyed Peas - I feel like I am doing something with my day. and something in me is stirring. A flicker of that inner strength that has been so stifled in the months past. 

I am not backing down from life anymore. I will fight until my last breath. I will make every day count this year, and I will be damned if I let anything and anyone get in my way.

Fight for your dreams dear readers, make your days count for more than yesterday-filled-regrets.

Until we meet again

Talia

P.S. This was the inspiration behind my latest art positivity typography pages, you can check them out under the Art & Other Creative Items Page.

Fight Not Flight

FEAR. The stomach-sinking, heart-pounding, hand-shaking feeling that strikes everyone at least once in their lifetime. Fear doesn't necessarily have to be a phobia, and it doesn't always have to be something you can predict in advance. Sometimes fear strikes you on the spot in the heat of the moment.

Other than phobias and common little fears that most people experience every now and again. Today was the first time I had experienced the real fear of losing someone incredibly close to me. I've never experienced emotions like what I've experienced today. If you've watched Inside Out, you would know that the personified emotions of fear and sadness were separated. Today I felt like I had an insane mixture of the two that happened to be on some crazy steroids.

I won't share the whole story of how these emotions came about. But when I thought that I had lost that person forever, and not even by my own choice, I panicked. I had never felt emotions like this before, I had no idea how to react or how to get myself back together. I felt like a massive explosion of bottled up emotions had imploded through my veins. I felt like my blood had actually run cold, somehow icily still pumping through my heart into the rest of my body. I was defeated. More defeated than I can ever remember before. I pray that none of you have to go through that feeling, because it truly is a wretched experience to endure.

But.

All was not lost.

In some far corner of my petrified heart, a spark of adrenaline made my brain override the emotions and fight. If you've ever met me, you would know that I'm not a fighter. But dammit I fought today. I was not enduring this pain that was inflicted upon me. I fought and choked back those stifling tears. And I didn't become a victim of the battle. By some miracle I got the person I care about so dearly back. I don't know how this day turned around like it did. I still feel like I was in the battle of the century. But I survived. And more importantly than surviving, I managed to get my incredibly special person back.

I'll be damned if I get that close to losing you again.

Dear readers, don't EVER let it get this close. Don't neglect someone to the point that you can't get them back. Never take the people around you for granted, because I promise you you don't want to know what the world would be like without them. Love them like both of you could be gone tomorrow and there's no chance to show them you love them again.

Until we meet again
Talia