Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes

Hello there.

Well...um, it's good to be back. I mean, it hasn't been three years, right? Details schmetails, I would love to get back into these blog posts again and contribute in some way, if you, dear readers, will have me back of course. Well, even if you don't, I'll still be here!

Based on a quick re-read of the last couple of posts I wrote on this blog... let's just say that a LOT has changed since the last time, so time for a super quick LIFE UPDATE:

• Graduated from University with Honours in Fine Art
• Got accepted into the Masters Programme in Fine Arts (and politely decided against it)
• Got accepted into a Post-Graduate Education Programme in Fine Arts (!!!)
• And then...surprise job offer...in another city, on the other side of the country
• Moved to Cape Town, been here for almost two years now
• ...
• Existential crisis of getting into a working life cycle...
• And here we are!

Now, just for some context, I work in an art museum which is still pretty new. I work in the Curatorial Team, dealing with artwork and the many ridiculous things that come with artwork full time...and I have to admit, it really opened my eyes up to the way that the industry actually functions. I've learnt a lot in the last two years, things that made me absolutely fall in love with being in the art world all over again, and things that have made me question the integrity of every single person in the industry. Sounds about right for working life, right?

Anyway, my first year of working in this industry was mostly about hitting the ground running. But, the second year has made me question what it is that I am actually doing with my life. Was everything that I had worked so tremendously hard for my entire life... actually worth it? Is this really where I see myself belonging for the rest of my (working) life?

As you can see, I've got a lot of things running through my mind at the moment. But I remember clearly that one of the greatest joys of having a blog like this was to share the little bits and pieces of useful (and occasionally funny) information I have learnt... So even if it's a rocky road, hopefully I can share something with you that resonates in some way, no matter how small!

I don't know where I will be going next with this blog, but my hope is that we can figure it out together, and maybe it won't feel like such a rocky road after all.

Until next time.

Talia

Just Do It!

Hello there dear readers.

My apologies for the late post, I've been moving houses and we haven't had access to the Internet until recently. But here I am now, so let's get straight to it!

Something that has been on my mind a lot this year has been the idea of determination. Determination is actually a difficult concept to define. Usually, having determination is seen a positive character trait, while being stubborn is seen as negative. To me, being determined means that once you have your mind set on a goal, you do everything in your power to make it happen, even if you have problems achieving it along the way. I see it as being so set on achieving your goal you would throw yourself into it to make it happen.

As some of you would know from my previous posts, last year was a difficult time in my life, and I not only lost my sense of self but also my sense of determination. This year, I managed to pull myself together to rebuild and renew my sense of self. I feel like this year I am more determined than I was before the troubles of last year, and that my ambition has returned with a vengeance.

I've found that determination isn't really a trait you're born with, but rather something that you teach yourself. It is something that can be learnt. and also nurtured. It also a skill that can be forgotten if not used.

Something I've noticed with a lot of people in my generation is the surprising lack of determination by a majority. People have no ambition, no drive to want to do better or push themselves,They've allowed themselves to grow comfortable with mediocrity, settle into a comfort zone of "average". And if they do perhaps decide to set a goal, one small hiccup and they give up.

I have no right to judge anyone about how they view their goals in life. I'm just surprised by how little ambition there seems to be. No determination to succeed or do better than the last time. And especially with people in their early twenties, in the prime of their lives.  Perhaps they are waiting for the devil of "tomorrow" to save them. The truth is, there is no tomorrow. The only time to make a difference is right now. But starting a million things and completing none of them is no use either.

Even if you dedicate your entire life to one project, if you finish that project at the end of your lifetime, I can almost guarantee a sense of happiness at having been determined enough to see it through right to the very end.

So here are some easy tips on how to ease determination into your life:

• Set small goals to start with. Say you want to read more often, don't say you'll read the entire Game of Thrones series in a week. You'll probably fail and sink back into the cycle of average. Rather say, I want to read at least 5 pages a day. 
• Set Goals that you know will make you happy. If you can imagine being ecstatic after completing a goal, and a goal that will improve your life, then you will be more determined to achieve it. 
• Ask for help. If you are struggling with being determined, ask your family and those closest to you to help you stay determined. Use role models to show you that all the work wont be for nothing.
• DON'T GIVE UP. This seems so simple but is at the core of determination. If you have a hiccup along the way, don't give up your entire goal because it temporarily became more difficult to achieve.
• Reward yourself for when you achieve your goals. 
• Your goals are not set in stone. If you feel like your goal isn't working for you, then change it.
• Surround yourself with determined people so that you have positive role models to follow.

Until we meet again 

Talia

A Helping Hand

Hello there dear readers! Happy Easter to those of you who celebrate and Happy Eat-As-Many-Chocolate-Eggs-As-You-Can Day to those who don't.

So the first block of third year has already passed! And so quickly too. It has been a busy few weeks, and I have to say I am quite proud of some of the work I've already produced. If you haven't had a chance to look yet, you can check out some of my latest work here and here. I've also been trying to work on my online identity through Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter and Facebook, posting more often and trying to have new work to post as well. But I will openly admit that it is a ton of work and a ton of effort that goes into doing these kinds of things.

And that brings me to the topic for today's post : Helping other people to succeed!

So, I can testify to the fact that building an identity for your own career is incredibly difficult. Especially when going into a creative field, such as the arts, music, drama, magic and the like. There are far fewer outlets to help young people make it in these fields as they aren't really seen as important or helpful to the economy. So unlike other careers that offer scholarships and internships (that actually pay), we are pretty much left to fend for ourselves.

Now I'm sure some of you are thinking, "But isn't that why you're going to university?". Ah yes, like most people who've gone the studying route, we choose to study in hopes that it will help us land a good job one day when we graduate. But as the unemployment rate of university graduates in South Africa alone, getting a degree isn't good enough anymore. So we have to find ways of making ourselves a career that we can be proud of.

This isn't easy to do alone however, With having to deal with access to specific materials, it can be almost impossible to help yourself with regards to your career. This is why I think it is so important that people, and not just budding creatives, actually make an effort to help each other out where they can. For example, I've been using social media and blogging to help market my work for a few years now, so while I wouldn't call myself a professional at it, I will say that I'm proficient at it. So my partner, Liam, is a budding magician. Writing is not his speciality as the the performing part of magic is his area of expertise. I know the blogging is a great form of exposure, so what did I do? I became a co-author of his blog so that I can help him on the advertising side while he is out there doing what he does best (P.S My Thoughts is the blog, check it out if you have a chance).

Another important part of helping your friends and family and people in general is being encouraging and supportive when things are going well.. and more importantly when they aren't. Help them with whatever resources and in whatever way you can. It could be as simple as lending someone a self-help book you have, or it could be helping them to print some business cards or pamphlets to give away. Any small thing helps, and it could be as simple as saying "I believe in you".

The world is a tough enough place as it is, but it doesn't mean that we can't do something to make it a little better, even if it's just for one person.

Until we meet again
Talia

Get Up Again

Hi there again dear readers. I know, I went from a massive break from blog posts to a sudden flow of things to write about. I guess I've just had a ton on my mind lately, and I feel like talking about it with you, dear readers, is a good way to convey my thoughts and feel like someone out there is just listening to what I have to say. 

So dear readers, something I've had on my mind lately is the idea of strength and self-empowerment. To me, I've always had a deep rooted fear of appearing weak to other people. I hate crying, being sick, being injured, being too emotional. Anything that knocks me off my A-game. To be honest, it doesn't take much to knock someone off their A-game. It can be feeling under the weather. feeling over-worked, upset about relationship or personal problems, or just having a bad day. I have been off my A-game more often than not recently. For me, it's been because of relationship and personal problems. I've been so emotional in the last few months I think I've had my share of negative emotions for a lifetime. 

The problem with emotional turmoil is that I've developed the bad habit of moping over a negative situation. I can think of a lot of reasons why this has changed, but the biggest reason why it bugs me is that I feel excruciatingly weak. 

As said before, it is the one thing I am most afraid of.

So as of today, I am done with this crappy feeling of being weak. Yeah sure, things get crappy in life. We all make bad decisions and sometimes it feels like the light at the end of the tunnel is just an illusion, 

Life is hard, 

We get knocked down.

We get winded.

We bleed.

We must get up again. 

I am so sick and tired of waking up and feeling like getting through another day is going to be tough on me. I am 20 for God's sake, I should be changing the world every day, not sitting and moping about things that WILL NOT matter in the grand scheme of things. Here is where the importance of self-empowerment comes in. See dear readers, this is something I have realised over the last few years. 

No one else will make your dreams come true for you. 

No one else will fight harder for you than yourself. 

No one else will ever be able to understand your life better than you,

Stop relying on other people to make things happen for you, they have their own lives to worry about. So at the start of every day, you are the one in charge of how it goes and how it ends. I won't lie, I've had a bit of a crappy day, and I have no one else to blame but myself (much as I would like to shift the blame I know I would be kidding myself), but here and now, typing this blog post - and listening to Pump It! by the Black Eyed Peas - I feel like I am doing something with my day. and something in me is stirring. A flicker of that inner strength that has been so stifled in the months past. 

I am not backing down from life anymore. I will fight until my last breath. I will make every day count this year, and I will be damned if I let anything and anyone get in my way.

Fight for your dreams dear readers, make your days count for more than yesterday-filled-regrets.

Until we meet again

Talia

P.S. This was the inspiration behind my latest art positivity typography pages, you can check them out under the Art & Other Creative Items Page.

Motivating the World, One Person at a Time

Well...

It certainly has been long enough hasn't it dear readers?

Well, shall we say that some turbulence in my life and general busyness and such has kept me away for far too long. But all is not lost, I have made some art in my time away and had a good reassessment of my life. The sun is still shining. The birds are still singing. And there is still plenty of art to be made! So here I am, with my first blog post since September.

So as cheesy and corny as it sounds to mention it, I turned 20 on Wednesday. No longer the teenager of the nineties but now a young adult. And since I have started working at my Christmas job, I realised something quite powerful.

Do you ever feel defeated by the world? By the people that are supposed to care about you? Have you ever wondered what you're doing with your life at the moment? Well, maybe if we all just started believing in one another's dreams a bit more, maybe the world would be a better place. On my birthday, I bumped into one of my old friends from High school. She didn't know it was my birthday but was an avid follower of the artwork I posted on Instagram. She told me that she thought I was really making something of my life and that I need to post so much more often. When I started my training for my new job, I had to do a quick sketch for a teamwork activity. My teammates and other trainees were so impressed that they started interrogating me as to why I don't draw more.

Why have I not been drawing more?

I stopped believing in my ability to create my own success.

But.

When people tell you out of the goodness of their hearts, that they think you are special, that you have something unique to bring to the world, it is probably one of the most inspiring forms of motivation I have yet to witness. Total strangers telling me they think I could change the world with my art, if that isn't good enough motivation, I don't know what is.

So dear readers, tell someone today, a stranger, a friend, your partner, tell them you believe in their dreams and their goals and watch the transformation.

Until we meet again
Talia

Growing Pains

It has been more than two weeks sans me posting, I must apologise dear readers. There has been so much going on lately that a blog post has been the last thing I've been able to accomplish. But anyhow... Here I am! I've just updated my Art & Other Creative Items Page to include some of the new paintings I've been making for class.

So today, dear readers, I am here to share some of my feelings on Growing Up. Yes. That huge scary term that seems to be tethered and loaded with responsibility... And that's because it really is. But growing up isn't a bad thing. It means... well it means more freedom. The thing about growing up is that it's not just about doing responsible things (like making your bed and doing the dishes), it's also about YOU. You can't grow up if you're not prepared to try.

Growing up and becoming a fully functional adult isn't exactly easy. It's about noticing all the little things you take for granted, about being able to fend for yourself rather than relying on someone else doing it for you. And most of the time you don't even realise how much you rely on other people. Whether it's booking a doctor's appointment, saving money, or knowing what to do in a medical emergency, these are all things we NEED to know how to do.

Thankfully we are now in an age were our family isn't the only source of information on how to grow up. There is a plethora of information online to give advice and guidance, but as the all knowing "They" say, "experience is the best teacher". The great thing is that no one says you can't have it both ways. You can use experience to put your skills to the test, but you can get advice and help first to make the process easier.

When I look back over the last few years, I can see how I've allowed myself to grow as an artist. It's about embracing change, not becoming stagnant in a comfort zone and being willing to push yourself. Now I see that everyday life is not all that different. If I am tired of something in my life, I have the power to change it. And so does every other person out there, Now that I've learnt the art of growing as an artist, it's time to adapt that skill to life. It will be difficult. But it will be worth it.

Until we meet again
Talia

May The Force Be With You

Strength. It's a funny word. It can mean so many different things, it can be interpreted in so many different ways. To some it can mean brute strength, as in being able to punch and kick and shift the world around you. To others it can mean not falling apart when things go wrong. It can mean defying reality during a crisis or being able to hold your ground. To me strength has a pretty simple, but also quite a flexible meaning:

STRENGTH (unclassifiable into a single category)

 A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH, BOTH INTERNALLY AND EXTERNALLY

 During my life I've felt weak, and I've felt strong. What I've noticed is that strength manifests itself in different ways each time, and it very seldom shows itself in the same way twice. Strength for me is something internal, something that kicks in when most needed and marks a point of change in my life. I never feel the same once that inner force has shown itself.

I'm currently at an in-between phase in my life, quite far away from the last point I found my inner strength but haven't reached the next point just yet. I feel like a point is approaching where I need to be stronger than I have ever been before, for not only me but also for my future. For now all I can do is train myself and prepare myself... and perhaps just wait.

Until I reach that point again, there are of course a million things to get done.

Until we meet again
Talia

Tomorrowland

My friends in my art classes introduced me to the concept of an "Existential Crisis". I had never heard of such a thing until I got to university, nor had I experienced much of it in my life. In a nutshell, this is how Urban Dictionaries defines an existential crisis:

Existential Crisis

A deep, obsessive concern with unanswered questions about the meaning of life and existence, resulting in the disruption of one's daily life and characterised by long or short-lasting bouts of apathy and depression.

"Dude, what's up with Steve?" 
"He's been reading a lot of Nietzsche and watching How the Universe Works on the Discovery Channel, now he's having an existential crisis."

Well, that sums it up quite well. For me I have existential crisis' based on time... or more specifically, the lack of it. I remember reading a quote once that went something along the lines of "In every moment we are living we are also dying"... Yes it can sound quite depressing, but honestly, shouldn't it also be good motivation to try and make every day a good day? Most people on the planet nowadays are born and bred procrastinators. We live in a world where tomorrow is always a given to us... But there are only so many tomorrows left, if any exist in the first place. 

I know it seems like an odd thing to think about, but books remind me of time passing. Every time I walk into a library or a book store, I think to myself how many books I would love to read... And in the same train of thought I realise that there will never be enough time to read all of them... I could spend my entire lifetime reading and I would never be able to get through enough books. The funny thing about life is that almost everything is like that. Art. Books. Films. Love. People. 

But not all is lost.

All you have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given to you.

You can spend your whole life sulking about all the things you can't do, or you can just jump straight into the deep end and start doing things. The choice is yours.

Until we meet again dear readers

Talia

P.S I finished watching all of the Lord of the Rings movies this week, so unreferenced quotes are here duly given credit to! 

Who Needs That Many Fireworks Anyway?

Do you ever feel like there's so many things to do, so many things you want to experience, that your mind actually tells you it's impossible to achieve them all? I do that a lot... I can focus on the present for a certain amount of time, then my brain decides it wants to think about things that would be fun to do... Only this time it was different.

I started thinking about all the things I'd been wanting to do, achieve, accomplish... Whatever you'd like to call it. There's a million thoughts buzzing through my head, crashing and bursting... I guess you could say like fireworks on a perfectly clear night... You know the stars that stay constant and shine in the distance, but the fireworks are so loud and bright that they distract you from the things that stay constantly beautiful... Even if they're light years away. I would say that all the fireworks are thoughts about today, tomorrow, next week even. My mind is so drawn to those that I've forgotten the stars in my mind, visible only on a clear night, the thoughts that are about things relatively far away.

The all knowing They say that right at this moment, time is a gift, and that's why it's called The Present... But the little clause they tend to leave out is that the present only means something when there's a future ahead... A goal you could say. I think I've been good with the present, but all those fireworks have made me forget that the present is always leading to the future. Once the bright colours and noises have faded away, the stars are what remain there no matter what.

Mental stars are different for everyone, some people focus on one constellation, others a single star... Some chase after a shooting star (only to figure out it was a plane). Some spend their whole lives searching for the star no one else has found. For me, I can say I've focused on one constellation my whole life... the one that kind of looks like an artist. But I had a moment of clarity... and there's a sky full of other stars out there... Ones that make you realise there is so much more to life than a single constellation. I guess you can say that from now on, there will always be a set of stars that shine brighter for me than all the others, the ones that will shine clearer even through the fireworks on a mental New Year's Eve.

Oh and dear readers, I know I talk about the sky a lot. It helps to think about the universe out there, that there is so much more to life than the little things that bug us every day. The one thing I love about load shedding (scheduled power outages due to strain on the grid, for those overseas), is that when the lights go out, if you stand outside, you can see the stars clearer than on any night in Johannesburg. I guess now I don't need the lights to go out or even for it to be night time to see my own stars.

When in doubt, find your own stars dear readers.

Until we meet again

Talia